Being Female - Balancing the Energy Within
So, over the last two years I realized how important it is to keep things in balance, but I realize that more every day through everything I do. I don’t mean balance your work time with your private life or balance your family relationships with your social life. What I mean is to balance the energy inside of yourself, because you cannot be who you need to be without this type of balance.
Recently, I have been noticing the energy within me, what that feels like, but also, the way it moves me through my day and my life. What I most frequently find is that whatever work I do with ministry or in any field or area overarches or weighs whatever other areas are present in my life…but this has to do with not only the pressures placed on me by life, but with a certain energy within me. Although I cannot explain the energy that I feel within me yet (as I am too new to labeling these types of things), I recognize there are moments, where I am to pull back, and rechannel the energy that is within me into a more loving and tender energy. I have to keep reminding myself - if it is really pushing you against what is tender inside of you - the tender part of yourself, and asking you to be something you are not, you need to let it go.
For a long time, society and culture, in certain ways, has asked or demanded women to push this tender and loving energy aside to be able to survive in the world, in the job market, or even in just daily interactions with other people.
And even in my case, where the ministry I engage in is founded in love, this idea of tenderness, or a woman’s tenderness and love is always pushed aside, even in the moments when we are to minister, or to speak our truth about the church, or whatever other area exists. But I think what is most important at this time as women, is that we speak the truth about love and in love. What love really is and what that looks like. I think it is time to no just speak about love, but to embody it, and see it fully present in the relationships we have with other people. Whether that be an intimate relationship with someone, your family relationships, your work relationships, ministry relationships or whatever relationships. With each interaction with another person you enter into some form of conversation which builds relationship. The question is what relationships are what, and how are you showing love through them and how are you building those relationships? In many ways, they should all look different because of the type of love you are trying to show or convey is different given different situations etc., in your life.
In the past, as a woman, I have been made to feel guilty for my french accent when working on french language, at other times for my femininity, my softness or tenderness, or kindness… or even as a female looking attractive or feeling sexy. Yet, all of these are elements that are part of me, and in most cases, they are part of me being female. I cannot label all the times someone has tried to make me feel bad just for being female. But, I am writing this post today, to share not only this, but to show support for other women who enjoy being female and living that out every day in their lives. Now I know not all of this writing may apply to all groups of people - for example - nuns do not want to feel sexy. I get that - but - none-the-less, there is still something of value for you in this article too! The reality is, for most women in their everyday lives, they are criticized and seen as less than just because of their sexuality. Or they are seen as temptresses because they look attractive on a given day, or for heaven’s sake, are even confident in their underwear or their bathing suit/bikini! Or even being comfortable in their own skin, to express themselves. Or women are seen as the wild-ones who rock the boat because they speak the truth about situations. While I am not saying these things should be taken advantage of by others, as sometimes is the case also, I am saying women should be able to be feminine in the world, and not be judged by it, and speak the truth in love. Instead of feminine women being seen as materialistic, conceited, superficial, temptresses, high-maintenance, gold-diggers, a “wild-one,” or even “needing to be humbled,” (the list could go on of what others say about feminine women or women in general), maybe, just for once we can see feminine women as just that; feminine - - and that is a good thing. Or women just as women - and that is a good thing. You add value to the world and your views do matter, and your thoughts matter. How you feel about situations and things matter, and your opinions matter.
Recognize if we are constantly putting women down for what they are and who they are, and trying to make them into something they are not, or constantly offering ways to correct them, instead of accepting them for who they are, we create a culture of girls and women who are insecure, unsure of themselves, and afraid to express themselves, to themself, to others, in the world, in their relationships, and in all other areas. The constant critiques that women suffer from, or judgements and criticisms, or even backlashes simply because they are women, need to stop. We have seen this in every area of life. From the time we have been little girls, to women in the home, in the work place, in politics, in the arts, in every area. What makes us women unique is the fact that we are female, we are women, we are feminine, we have feminine energy inside of us (just as we have masculine energy inside of us), but that feminine energy is one of the energies that gives our soul a voice… but also that we have been able to give voice to things that have not been voiced before, where people have been unwilling to listen - yet changes still needed to be made. So instead of trying to weed this out of yourself, embrace it. There is nothing wrong with you for being a female, being a woman, being feminine, or wanting to look nice, or complimenting a friend on her outfit, or the work she is doing, or finding a bathing suit you really like that you think looks flattering on you. There is nothing wrong with you for giving a voice to the weary, or speaking up for those who cannot speak for themselves and reminding the world that kindness and tenderness are a good thing. So I guess what I am trying to say in all of this is that your self-esteem matters, your level of energy inside of yourself and how you feel about yourself, what that looks like when you connect to yourself, and your feminine energy matters.
Also it is high time someone stated the truth. Your thoughts and feelings matter. What you like matters, and how you think and feel adds value to the world. Additionally, women need to be lifting each other up, not tearing each other down. Be truly comfortable with who you are and embrace who you are. Be happy that you are female and a woman and that God created you that way. Embrace the ways God has enlightened your heart and mind to be able to speak what is true, and say it from a place of love and tenderness. Right now, I am thinking about all the women who have spoken about different topics recently, in public and on the margins, but also thinking of all those women who are struggling to accept themselves for who they are, or are in the middle of discovering their true passion, or even in the middle of knowing who they are, or understanding the energy within them. To all of you women, I say - Thank you!!! Thank you for being you and for being a light in and to the world. For offering hope in moments of darkness, for offering kindness in moments of hate, and for offering a spirit of generosity in times of despair. Also, thank you for taking the time to nurture yourself so that you can nurture others, and help them to grow to have an abundant life. Thank you for being you, and may you find peace inside of yourself, as you balance your energy within.
~Female Catholic Writer ~
Mary E. Grenchus