God's Little Surprises
While I realize that we all need a break once in awhile from the pressures of life, and the frazzled-ness of our busy-ness, I never thought I would consider a trip to Yale's Art Gallery, as a vacation. But that, in itself should be enough to explain how truly "busy" we keep ourselves. We always invest ourselves into projects, into activities, into doing all that we think we NEED to do, without necessarily taking time for ourselves or what is really most important. The idea that I would have to take a trip to the Art Gallery and see it as a vacation, to give myself a break from "the everything" should speak for itself.
What I found on this trip, was amazing! I found, I can like what I like, and enjoy the simplicity of just being, and being in existence and being in existence with "the art", as well as the talent of my photography. I also found that the smallest conversation was a blessing, as I lost my scarf part way through my journey and could feel the cold but crazy draft of the building ....but, in the end of all of it - - what I found-- was God (love). God speaking to me even more clearly, in God's hushed whisper deep within my soul...saying... "I delight in you.... It is time you delighted in my creativeness.... Let me surprise you.... Let me love you.... Stop running, and sit with me so I can open your eyes to all of my beauty. Just be... and let me be with you. Let me open others to be with you, and care about you, and love you."
Once I allowed myself to hear the inner stirrings; I found happiness.
And God said: "Let go, and let me....and you will see, how much I truly love you and delight in you... and all that is deep inside your heart."
And so, I let go....and I took the time to just be. To not only just be, but to just be me... without the pressures of everyone else, without the thoughts, commands, and demands of everyone and everything else...without the rules and regulations and structures, and rigidness: all the craziness was gone....
And that is when God really opened my eyes............... to God's goodness. I sat, and I saw what I cared about most. I walked and I felt who and what I loved most...
and God said, "Yes. Allow yourself to be. Let me create you."
Tucked away, deep inside this, I found God's little surprises.
I found that God truly loves me - - - something I constantly forget.
I found what I truly want most - -
To be free to love, and desire, and experience pleasure - things that as women, we are frequently asked to deny, or asked to go without and sacrifice so that we may be exactly who everyone else wants us to be... or what our positions or our society demands us to be, or even, sometimes what we think we need to be... when in reality, that is not the case at all... and it just hurts us.....
I found that at the heart of everything is Love / God.
To love and to be loved. That is what life is all about.
I found, that God (love) is everywhere.
....And although this is the case,
Lastly, I found that desiring love, is more than pleasing to God: that God places that desire deep inside of you, gives it to you as a gift, and would like you to open yourself to it, to help manifest the kingdom of God.
Because of all of this,
I delighted in the art I saw.
I delighted in the children and families that were in the Art Gallery,
which uncovered more of my own inner longings - - inner longings that truly are a gift and a blessing, and a delight, that I can be happy about, and not feel guilty about, or renounce, or be asked to "give up" just because of everything else.